karlpejera: Five things we learned from the Premier League this weekend

It's now a two-horse race, there's a Player of the Month curse too, and why we're all going to hell

1) It's a two horse race. And one of those horses can't win

This Manchester United side have been, and continue to be, unimpressive far too frequently to be considered particularly great, but there can be little doubt now that they are greater than any of their rivals this season. However they deserve more than grudging praise, because they have proved themselves to be awesome in a way that perhaps no previous league winners have ever been, or needed to be.

Generally the team that win the league fall into one of two categories. One is being considerably more organised than their opponents, and customarily grinding out drab 1-0 victories over stymied rivals. This has never been United's way, and they aren't starting now: their hugely injury-affected defence has managed just three 1-0 wins in 31 league games (but five in 15 cup ties), the same number of clean sheets as Sunderland and proportionally fewer than any season since 2003-04 (by quite a margin, too ? in the last three seasons they have kept clean sheets in 55.3%, 63.2% and 50% of their league matches; this term they're on 38.7%).

The other is being considerably better than their opponents, and customarily dismissing these inferior foes with great ease. This season United haven't done much of that either, but while coming so close to losing so many matches reflects pretty poorly on their overall quality, the fact that they have actually gone on to lose so few of them is more than coincidence, it is the stuff of slightly puzzling legend. They are the most brilliant rubbish team in memory. Or the most rubbish brilliant team. They are both fearsome and flawed, in a way that doesn't ordinarily get you very far.

Saturday's 4-2 victory over West Ham was imperfect on many levels, not least because the referee must take some credit for the comeback ? United were given a pretty ludicrous penalty, and just as at Blackpool in January they could have had a man sent off when they were 2-0 down in the second half, before going on to be inspired to victory by Ryan Giggs. But it was also enormously compelling. This may be United's least convincing title-winning side, but they are still, in their own error-strewn way, rather wonderful.

Contrast with Arsenal. While the champions-elect continually translate inferiority into victory, their chief rivals have spent years failing to turn superiority into success. On Saturday's Match of the Day Alan Shearer surmised that if Arsenal are to win the league "they've got to play better than they did today, that's for sure". But in truth they don't, not really. Other than the bizarrely abysmal Manuel Almunia they played perfectly well enough to have beaten Blackburn with ease. That quality explains why they're the only team still with a chance of stealing the title from Old Trafford, but that result shows why they won't.

2) There's a Player of the Month curse too

Everyone knows about the Manager of the Month curse, which dictates that the majority of managers who win the award immediately suffer a strange downturn in form. Well, it seems to work for players too. Take, for example, the March Player of the Month, Chelsea's David Lu�z, promptly humiliated by Jon Walters and resoundingly bettered by Kenwyne Jones in his next match. And he's not alone: August's winner, Paul Scholes, drew four of his next five games and hasn't scored since he won; September's winner, West Bromwich's Peter Odemwingie, overextended his knee in his next game and was ruled out for a month; November's winner, Johan Elmander, scored two goals in the following three months while Bolton won just two of their next nine league games; December's winner, Samir Nasri, had scored 12 in 26 games before he was honoured at 0.46 goals a game, and has two in 17 since at 0.12; January's winner, Dimitar Berbatov, got the nod after scoring five goals in just two games, and immediately went on a seven-match goalless streak.

3) Liverpool will have no regrets about getting rid of Hodgson

West Bromwich's win over Liverpool on Saturday was extremely embarrassing for Roy Hodgson's former employers, but notable mainly because he managed to simultaneously show why he was given the job at Anfield in the first place, and why he was forced from it. So long as players will submit to his will, he will fashion a well-organised defence and an efficient attack ? the qualities that brought him the Liverpool job. However even when successful his teams are easy to admire but hard to love. Had he stayed in post he could perhaps have eventually brought relative success, but he was unlikely to ever bring much satisfaction.

Hodgson insisted he gained "no extra pleasure" from beating Liverpool, but he must regret the fact that Daniel Agger was not on the pitch at the end. The Dane was among his fiercest critics at Anfield, insisting in mid-September that "the manager has a philosophy that ... is not my style. I like to keep the ball on the ground and I'm going to keep doing that". He later said that while Hodgson was in charge "we played awful, we were shit". Improvement has been frustratingly slow, but it is at least happening.

4) Cattermole's a danger

Two red cards in his first four games this season showed that Lee Cattermole was a captain with a unique ability to not only lead his side, but also to shoot it squarely in the foot. Then there was Sunday's pass of the weekend. OK, Sunderland were already 4-0 down when it happened, so it was basically irrelevant, and after a three-month injury lay-off he could claim an element of rustiness, but the pass that set up Yaya Tour� to score Manchester City's final goal against Sunderland has to go down as the most hapless of the season so far.

Underhit backpasses are annoying, but they're just underpowered perfectly good backpasses ? there's an acceptable idea in there somewhere. Blackpool's James Beattie also set up a goal for his opponents at the weekend, but the examples are incomparable ? it was at least clear that Beattie was attempting to pass to a team-mate, and the mistake was made in a less crucial area of the pitch. At no point while Cattermole had possession did the pass he eventually attempted ? and after several replays and quite a lot of freezeframing I've still got no idea what it was ? look an acceptable option. Given the number of City players in his half, and their location relative to Sunderland's players, none of his team-mates were in any way passtoable. Perhaps it was an underhit clearance into touch, but given that he was standing two yards from one touchline, there would appear to be little reason for him to attempt to hit the ball over the other one and little excuse ? if that was his intention ? for the ball to get less than halfway there. You could argue that the player nearest him ? Jack Colback, I think ? should have done more to provide an easier option, but still ?

Pass of the weekend, though: Thomas Hitzlsperger, to set Carlton Cole on his way to winning West Ham's first penalty.

5) Chairmen who erect disgusting statues of their personal friends at grounds can go to hell

We've all seen the reaction of football fans, but seeking a positive response to Fulham's new Michael Jackson statue I went to the websites positivelymichael.com and mjjboard.com, unofficial online Jackson fan clubs. Surely here, at least, there would be delight. Plotting the progress of the story from its announcement last month to unveiling this weekend was fascinating, the idea having initially been greeted with widespread delight. "I am now a Fulham supporter," wrote Maggie. "Another reason why I ? London," wrote MJsPYT777. "What Mr al-Fayed said about Michael was beautiful and I'm sure Michael would be very honoured by his efforts to place a statue in memory of him," wrote Apple Dust. MWelch1 added: "This is great news!! Michael was very blessed to have friends like Mohamed Al Fayed and Mark Hughes." "We love MJ but I don't think a statue of him at a football ground he visited once is appropriate," warned badgraciebabes. "I really dont get the hate. I think its an awesome idea! Cant wait to see it," added inhismemory, as anticipation built.

And then, the unveiling. "It doesn't look like Michael, but thank you so much Mr al-Fayed," writes Dana. "I saw it on TV earlier ? it's effing HIDEOUS!" writes GoldenCherry. "A gopping pile of bronze turd!" the same writer adds later. "I don't want to be rude, but the statue looks absolutely naff," says TheNarratorX. "The statue isn't exactly my cup of tea, but it was nice of Al Fayad to put it up," says Saz. "OH.NO.NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO," writes Maggie. "This is all so wrong. The statue is horrible and Al Fayed is acting like an arrogant douche."

"If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift this guy gave to the world they can go to hell," says al-Fayed. We'll see you there, chum.

Simon Burnton

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